#1) You're in charge of logistics! Keep that in mind forever, for almost ALL situations with your girl.

Even if you've been married 20 year, she still loves it when you make the decisions. I'll never forget when one of my ex-girlfriends said to me "my dream day is when I don't have to plan anything!"

I'm sure there's some underlying evolutionary biology to this but that doesn't matter given the amount of data on this there is. Women LOVE IT when a man TELLS her (respectfully, of course) when, where, and whatever else helps to minimize her cognitive energy (where you should meet, maybe even how to dress - context matters).

So, when you're planning the first date (and other dates) think of yourself as the logistical coordinator. Tell her you've got this cool spot in mind and that she should meet you there at 7. Something like, "There's this cool spot on 5th called _____, you will like it. Let's meet there at 7 on Saturday."

If she's interested, she'll agree. If she's interested but has something going on, she'll decline but will offer another day. <-- This last bit is a super important flag for you. If she doesn't offer another day, then she's not as interested as if she does.

Simple as that.

Think of it as info for your own benefit.

Some other non-negligible things you should consider for the first date. And now we're going to get into some territory that people may argue against. These are based on my own experience (and some research), but mostly my own experience. If you're a religious Christian guy who is more wholesome than me, some of these might not resonate with you.

That's all good. Use this to shape your own style.

#2) Don't do lunch. Don't do dinner.

Coffee is a no for me too, but I can see how grabbing a coffee and going for a walk could work for some people depending on the situation.

My ideal situation is to meet for either cocktails, or cocktails and a small bite.

Dinner is too much for a first date - save that for the 3rd, maybe the second. But the second date should typically be something fun - like going to a local carnival or something.

The first date you're really just trying to have fun/light conversation to get to know her and flirt.

#3) Let her do most of the talking

Super important. And this doesn't just apply to the first date, it applies all the time.

Women love to talk. It's, again, built in their DNA. Must be from all the time they spent in the cave while the man was hunting - I'm serious - they love to talk and honestly, they're good at it. Have you read Anne of Green Gables? If not, read it asap.

80/20 is a good rule of thumb here. She talks 80% of the time and you talk the rest.

The more she tells you about herself, the more she feels connected to you and that "You really get her".

#4) LISTEN when she talks.

Guys. You can't let her talk all the time and have it go in one ear and out the other.

Listen to watch she's saying and enjoy it. This is kind of her craft and if you can keep up then that's awesome, she will notice.

Ask questions about the things she talks about, but not interview-style questions like "What town did you grow up in?". So boring. Of course you'll have to sprinkle some of those in there but I'm talking more like "What do you miss the most about your hometown?" or "Tell me how your parents met".

Make her wheels turn.

#5) Don't let the date go too long. Leave her wanting more.

I know you think you're connecting and having a really great time but you've gotta be intentional about when you cut it off. Going to two different places is awesome (like cocktails and then an ice cream), but make sure you're the one to end the night.

Say something simple like "Hey thanks for the fun time tonight". Walk her to her car, maybe kiss her (for sure by second date - more on this late).

#6) DON'T TRY TO PLAN A SECOND DATE DURING THE FIRST DATE

Not much more to say but do not do this. Makes you come off super needy and weak, like you can't handle uncertainty (which, by the way, is one of the biggest turn-ons, being cool and composed during uncertainty).

#7) The Kiss.

I don't want to give a black and white rule here but I will say that you should be going for a kiss by the end of the second date. If you don't by then you've kinda fucked up.

And really, I would say it's much better to go for a kiss on the first date and get rejected than to not go for the kiss by date 2. Your boldness will be felt by her and trust me, that's worth a lot.

Just make sure you don't respond to the rejection. Just take it matter-of-factly and it will be a huge turn on. (Side note - I had a friend who would intentionally go for a kiss too early with the plan of getting rejected and being cool about it - advanced strategy haha but it always worked).

Feel out the first date. Despite what other people might say, I think first date kiss is totally fine.

#8) End the kiss first.

You be the one to pull back first during the first kiss, or make-out session lol. This shows you've got control, and that's hot.

#9) Text her something super simple like "Hey thanks for the fun time tonight =)" Either that night (if you get home before midnight), or the next day. BUT THEN DON'T TEXT HER AGAIN for at least 3 - 5 days unless she texts you first.

You can always respond to her texts (that means she's chasing you, which is what you want) but you need to be intentional about timing your own.

#10) Keep texting back and forth to a minimum but don't be a dud and just ask her out on your next text.

Always be playful and light when you text her. <-- Read this one thousand times!

I can't stress this enough. I don't think texting should be for any serious conversation. Say some funny shit, gas up some inside jokes lightly and build in to texting her to ask her out again.

You want her to look at her phone and smile when she gets a text from you.